Answers to Questions, Including Obnoxious Ones.

Here’s where I answer a few questions people have asked me, including annoying, obnoxious ones from my younger students.
 
“Do you actually CARE about your students, or do you just do this to get MONEY?”

This particular question came from a 12 or 13 year old boy who, although quite skinny and non-foul-mouthed, was otherwise a real-life version of Eric Cartman from “South Park.” Basically he was at that obnoxious age where a child’s sense of entitlement wildly outstrips his or her common sense (I recall engaging similar cringe-worthy behavior at that age – the kind of things that make observer hope a kid is going to REALLY get in trouble when he or she gets home). One comment he made about me - “MOM! WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SCHEDULING WITH THIS GUY? WE DON’T EVEN KNOW IF HE’LL BE HERE NEXT WEEK!” Mom: “Honey, he’s the only tutor available.” Parenting tip : Don’t be a Mrs. Cartman.

Despite his being a toxic tyke, he raised a good question. I pointed out, honestly, that I have a very busy schedule, can pick and choose between customers, and don’t necessarily need any particular customer’s business, but since I do care about students doing well, I try to squeeze as many students as possible into my schedule. If I didn’t like what I was doing, I wouldn’t put the time and effort I do into this business, and I’d find something else to do with my time. Not to mention I’d have to be a special kind of nasty to NOT want my students, or anyone else, to succeed in academics and life in general, without serious reasons. 

The best answer to this actually came from my friend Jaymi – “Since I’m a professional who will do a good job no matter what, it shouldn’t matter from your point of view. If you give me a reason to care about you, I’ll care about you.  Otherwise, I’ll just do a professional job.” That’s the real crux of the issue. Your doctor, lawyer, teacher, butcher, baker, or candlestick maker doesn’t have to “care about” you to do a good job. That’s the essence of professionalism – if you’re paid to do a job, you do your best. If you can’t do your best, either because you don’t like the person who wants to hire you, or because you don’t like the work, or you’re not being paid enough, or you’re too busy, or you simply don’t know how to do the job and can’t learn it quickly, then DON’T TAKE THE JOB.  Many of us, including me, have learned that the hard way. It’s no fun to do work you don’t like, for someone you don’t like, for not enough money, when you have too many other things to do, especially if you don’t really have as good a grasp on the necessary job skills as you should. So I don’t do those things – I charge a fair price for my services; I don’t pretend I know things I don’t; I schedule enough time to get things done, including travel times; and I won’t take a job if I think the student, parent, or other person involved is going to be so annoying that I won’t be able to work effectively.

That having been said, the VAST majority of my students, their parents, and others involved in retaining my services, have been wonderful to work with. I wish them all the best and genuinely care about them. Basically, if you treat me well, I’ll care about you and treat you well.  If you treat me like I’m a jerk, I’ll act like a jerk. I’ll still be 100% professional, but I won’t spend extra time with you, offer you any discounts (many professionals and businesses follow the rule “The price quoted is contingent upon the customer’s attitude.”), give you preference in a scheduling conflict (I’d rather give first choice of meeting times to people I like).

“Is that all you do – go through the review book with students?”

This one was a gem, coming from one of my SAT students I’d worked with for weeks. The answer is “No - not at all.” I give my students many explanations for vocabulary words that aren’t in the Barron’s SAT book. I explain which of the math tips and tricks I believe are most important (e.g., adding equations, substituting numbers in for variables, and backsolving), and which ones are less likely to work (e.g., “measuring” distances in figures given for geometry problems).

Finally, even if all I really did was “go through the book with students,” that would still be worth what I charge, since most students aren’t motivated enough to sit down with the book for two hours at a stretch and do the work, especially the work they don’t do well. It’s human to concentrate on our strengths and not our weaknesses. We’re happier when we feel we’re AWESOME! Unfortunately, as any athletic coach, teacher, therapist, or other teacher/guide/health care professional (or common sense) will tell you, if you’re weak at something, that’s exactly the skill you should work to develop. Most people won’t do that by themselves, which is a major reason why tutors, personal trainers, coaches (athletic or life) have jobs tutoring, personal training, or coaching.

 
“Can you guarantee an increase in my score?”

Okay, I get it. You don’t want to spend money on tutoring if you aren’t going to see a payoff on your investment. I understand completely, but I can’t control you or your child or student’s motivation, available time, or academic ability, any more than my personal trainer controls what I eat or how much I exercise when he’s not right there in front of me.
In other words, I can’t complain “My personal trainer SUCKS!” or “My gym SUCKS – they just take my money and I’m not getting in better shape!” if I’m not doing my part to get in shape.  If I’m just going into the sauna, then showering, then going home, whenever I “work out” at the gym unless there's a trainer watching me, or eat supersized fast food meals three times a day, I can’t blame the gym or my personal trainer for my lack of progress.

The same logic applies to academic progress.  If you don’t (1) do the “homework” I assign; (2) ask questions when you don’t understand things; or (3) practice tests under timed conditions, you have no right to complain about my services. Zero. Nada. Zilch. None whatsoever. 

This shouldn’t be new to anyone who ever took piano or other instrument lessons, especially if he or she was being forced to take them – it was obvious to the teacher if the student had not touched the instrument since the last class. I’ve tutored students who obviously hadn’t touched the review book since our last meeting (the book was in exactly the same position on the table where the student left it).
On the other hand, if you work hard, making a genuine effort to improve yourself in your weak areas, and learn the test tricks, you’ll see a real improvement in your score.  Can I guarantee any particular improvement? No. Again, I don’t control you, and I can’t predict the future.

People who say they can guarantee a particular increase in score should be taken about as seriously as the late-night infomercial advertisers who promise “Weight loss with NO DIET and NO BORING EXERCISE!”  At best, there’s a catch that makes the promise much less appealing than it seems (e.g., the weight loss plan could involve exercise the advertiser thinks is exciting, so it’s not “boring exercise!”).  At worst, it’s an outright scam, and you’ll get little or nothing for your money.  Before you believe any such claim, definitely ASK HOW the tutor or service came up with the estimated increase in score (results from similar students? Just a wild guess?), and what exactly they’ll do for you if you don’t get the score they promised you (for example, some services just let you retake the course for free). You don’t have to hire me, but don’t hire someone who gives you a guarantee without knowing what you’re getting into.
 
“Can I get a discount? I’m happy to pay cash.” *wink*

I offer discounts for 20-hour blocks of time, when bought in advance. I will also gladly negotiate a reduced rate for small groups preparing for the same test.

Offering to pay cash isn’t really an incentive for me to give anyone a discount. I report all my income and deduct all my expenses (In other words, I handle my tax matters the right way ;-) ).

Checks, debit cards (through Venmo), etc. – methods that leave a paper or electronic trail – are actually better for me, since it’s easier for me to show the tax people exactly how much I made. Paypal and credit cards cost me money to process, so I’d rather you didn’t use those, since I already charge low rates for the service I provide.
 
“Why are your rates so low? What am I not going to get if I hire you instead of someone more expensive?”

I got this one the other day through Thumbtack. It’s the flip side of the previous question, where wealthy potential customers think my services must not be very good.  The potential customer made a comment to the effect of “I’ve never liked a cheap car or a cheap hamburger, so I imagine the same applies to tutors.” Another potential customer let me know that new college graduates, and even some college students, were charging two to four times the rate I’d quoted her.

Basically, all I can say is that many tutors, as any other professionals, “charge what the market will bear,” which could be uncharitably characterized as “overcharging.”  A tutor who charges, say, $200 per hour isn’t necessarily twice as good as one who charges $100 per hour.

My father is very fond of correcting the old saying “You get what you pay for” to “You may get what you paid for, but you certainly won’t get what you didn’t pay for.” When I quote you a rate, I will let you know how many hours I think you need, my level of experience in tutoring the subject, and what I plan to provide, including materials and a general overview of my lesson plan. As long as I do my job, you’ll have all you need to prepare for the test you’re taking soon. 

What you’re not paying for is a doctorate or masters’ degree in education or an academic field (I have a BA in chemistry and psychology and a law degree (JD)). You’re also not paying for a fancy office, an office staff, or other frills that look nice but don’t actually increase the value of the service I provide.

Unless the more expensive tutor is AMAZING – maybe he or she scored in the 99th percentile on the test you’re taking, has a doctorate in education, wrote a thesis on standardized testing that’s now used as a textbook in graduate schools, was actually on the committee for developing the new SAT, or something like that – you’re not GETTING more; you’re just PAYING more. Even if you pay $200 to $300 per hour for a tutor like the one I’ve just described, you’re not really getting anything you NEED.  This may not be true for the truly exceptional student who’s trying to raise his or her score from the 96th percentile to the 99th percentile- that person really NEED a few hours such a tutor’s services. But you mere mortals can do just fine with a dumb bunny like me whose percentile scores were in the 90s (I believe my LSAT score was in the 96th percentile)… ;-)

This is especially true of any service or test prep company. While you will probably pay about $100 per hour, the tutor’s going to get something like $20 to $40 per hour, depending on a number of factors, most likely around $25. You’re essentially paying four times what you should.  You might get access to a website and a few other neat things, but it’s nothing worth the extra $75 per hour. So take my advice, and make this lesson the first step of your higher education – don’t overpay for test prep!